How Much Should You Know About Your Partners Past Before Marriage
1. Details aren't of import for everyone — but it is worrisome if someone refuses to hash out their past.
"I wouldn't necessarily say [it's] important [to share everything], but I would find it weird and off-putting if my partner refused to share anything. Some things are of import. Has he been cheated on? Has he cheated? Did all the breaks upwardly end poorly or is he friends with all his exes? Did any of his exes take kids he got shut to? Is he a series monogamist? Was there abuse? Did you end up having certain preferences after dating someone? Has he lived with someone before? Has he been engaged or married? Is this his first relationship afterward a ton of hookups?
Those types of questions give a ton of context and explanation of who this guy is as a person. Other sillier questions are fun to talk about, too. First kiss stories tin exist funny (mine was hysterically bad), first dates, first bad breakdown, etc. I have a ton of funny stories that involved ex-boyfriends because I spent a lot of time with them. My boyfriend has a bunch of stories of bad dates. It can exist a bonding experience.
My young man didn't have a real girlfriend prior to me and I didn't find that apropos in the slightest. I would find it weird if he refused to talk most it. I learned a lot about what I wanted through the failure of my former relationships. Nosotros don't take to talk about dick size or how hot our old partners were, nosotros just need to exist able to talk about it." - Reddit user tonicCONgin
ii. For some people, large-picture stuff is required — but non annihilation else.
"I don't demand to know about every girl he always dated, only hearing most the bigger relationships is important. For instance, my SO's ex-wife — that'due south a human relationship I demand to know a fiddling fleck most." - Reddit user super_nice_shark
iii. Some feel that talking about your past isn't as of import if you lot feel you've inverse every bit a person.
"I've been with my BF for a total of four months (exclusively, three). Neither of the states have said Annihilation well-nigh our exes. I can't speak for him but my reason for why I haven't said annihilation is because my last ex was three years ago, when I was 21-22 and nonetheless in college. That was a long -ss time ago, earlier my personality developed and bluntly, that was my start relationship so I was very much 'new' to the whole GF/BF thing. Plus, if I met the former [me] , I wouldn't recognize myself in her...thus, in that location's no demand to tell him of my exes when the old me is most definitely not a reflection of who I am today." - Reddit user TurboTHOT
4. The most important thing to know about a past relationship is how it concluded.
"Knowing why the past relationships failed is certainly important, but I don't intendance to hear any endearing or heartwarming memories of the good times with his exes. They are exes for a reason and they can stay in the by equally far as I'one thousand concerned." - Reddit user on_a_whisper
five. Sexual health is not-negotiable for most people.
"All I want to know is if he's STD-free. I don't need to know details and specifics near what you did with them." - Reddit user MemeMaiden
half-dozen. Some people apply strengths and weaknesses of a previous human relationship to brand the nowadays one even stronger.
"Yeah, I retrieve knowing about someone's past is an of import part of agreement why they behave the style they practice in the present. Ideally, I don't retrieve a romantic relationship should have secrets. The last person yous should be censored and guarded with is your partner.
Do I need to know what their ex was like in bed, her bra size, or how she took her coffee? Well, no. But it's helpful to know why their by relationship(s) ended, whose idea information technology was, whether there was cheating involved, what they liked about them, and what they didn't. It'south likewise good to know what the relationship dynamics were like and what the strengths and weaknesses of the partnership were. It's worthwhile to learn from the past, and to use that data to best approach the present and futurity." - Reddit user sodabrothel
7. Talking near by relationships tin reveal if a person is able to remember critically about themselves.
"I retrieve it's important that someone tin examine the reasons a by human relationship didn't work out and have their responsibleness instead of proverb 'my ex was crazy' and leaving it at that. Existence able to reflect on the past and learn from it is important to me. So I don't demand a dossier of every one nighttime stand, and I don't care near how many people someone has been with. I do intendance that they are able to be cocky-reflective and learn from the past and bring that knowledge into a new relationship." - Reddit user Jilltro
viii. Some view talking about past relationships as a bonding feel.
"I'd similar to learn information technology slowly over time as we grow closer. Don't need a run-down up front. I feel it'south a way of bonding, and it's a good manner to understand their perspective, why they have certain preferences and boundaries, and it'south their story." - Reddit user sleepingwideawake
9. Sometimes, learning near past relationships is merely fun.
"To me it's very important and also quite interesting. I don't heed my And then talking about his exes (as long he'southward non worshipping them, of form). They were a part of his past and so a function of him and his life.
My boyfriend had been unmarried for quite a long time before he met me (more than five years). It helped me a lot to understand his independence and I started to adore his optimism and lack of bitterness afterwards all this time as a single. I'thou glad that he told me." - Reddit user WalnutFeline
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Source: https://www.insider.com/how-much-you-need-to-know-about-partners-romantic-history-reddit-2018-4
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